I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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