No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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