Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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