he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
