I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
