it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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