Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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