My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
