i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
