How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
