it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
