So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
