Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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