Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
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I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
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well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I currently don't understand fingers.
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