Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
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My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
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As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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