you would pick up someone in the library
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize