hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Every concussion has its silver lining
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
