Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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