Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
