If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
