Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
