dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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