SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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