woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
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I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
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Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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