there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He? As in you personified your dick?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
