After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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