Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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