Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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