I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just had sex bonerless
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
