I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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