My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
