I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
