I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
