I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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