pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
