I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
