kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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