You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
