she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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