Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My vagina is officially offended.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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