Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
