: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
