He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize