i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
