I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize