Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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