tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
