Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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