So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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