She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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