i permit you to call me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
