i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
