I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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