Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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